That's me just sent my CV in to Ibrox with my following accompanying letter:
Dear Mr Gerard
As an equal opportunities employer I am sure Rangers would consider my CV. At the age of 60 I consider myself as fully employable so would like to apply for a role in your first team.
You will note that my sporting career has been mainly deployed in chasing eggs as I'm a big bloke with two left feet, although I did once hit a 30 yard screamer for 13th Motherwell BB in 1975.
My best position is on the bench and I'd be especially keen to fulfil that role towards the end of April/beginning of May of this season and I can assure you that, when we win 55, no one will run on to the pitch with greater glee or with more gusto than me.
You don't even have to pay me and some of the training gear may have to be adjusted for my size but what a credit it would be for Rangers to have the oldest registered player in footballing history on their books. I see this as a win-win.
Yours in anticipation
Carson's Cat