Best professional footballer's 'put down' of an opposition player?

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Heard this years ago from a friend of John Brown. Rangers are playing the scum at the glitter dome and the players are out warming up. McCoist and Mo Johnston are warming up near the halfway line. In the scum half near the halfway line Shitey Galloway is warming up. During that week a story had broke that the vermin were trying to offload him to a team like Notts County or similar for £50,000.

McCoist shouts to Mo, "I see Celtic are trying to sell that Galloway guy." Galloway's ears obviously prick up. Mo shouts back to Ally, "Aye I heard that, Notts County or somebody, there only wanting £50,000." Ally returns with, "Mon me and you'll buy him and he can dae oor gerdins."
 
punksnotdead said:
Heard this years ago from a friend of John Brown. Rangers are playing the scum at the glitter dome and the players are out warming up. McCoist and Mo Johnston are warming up near the halfway line. In the scum half near the halfway line Shitey Galloway is warming up. During that week a story had broke that the vermin were trying to offload him to a team like Notts County or similar for £50,000.

McCoist shouts to Mo, "I see Celtic are trying to sell that Galloway guy." Galloway's ears obviously prick up. Mo shouts back to Ally, "Aye I heard that, Notts County or somebody, there only wanting £50,000." Ally returns with, "Mon me and you'll buy him and he can dae oor gerdins."
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Just spat my drink out!!!
 
Cricket. Merv Hughes (Aussie) when bowling to IanBotham.
"Hi Beefy, hows yer wife and my kids?"
 
Gary Player or Arnie Palmer playing in a pro am with a loud mouth. Get to a hole with trees and guy pulls out club to hold up short.
G or A say...when i was your age i would bring out the big club and fire it right over they trees.
Loud mouth changes clubs, hits shot right into trees.
G or A says..."mind you when i was your age they trees were nowhere near the height they are now."
Owned.
 
Billy Bremner to ref your having a terrible match. ref answers so are you, you've been shite the whole game. Bremner. Aye yer right
 
lanarkshire_bear said:
Ally Mccoist tried to spin a defender but the move never worked. The defender told him "I've seen that too many times on the telly." Later on Ally scored and as he jogged past the boy he said to him "you'll have seen that on the telly a few times as well!".
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I believe the defender was Big Eck? Remember him (Eck) saying something along those lines on one of McCoist's videos
 
Read an article where Colin Stein had been interviewed years ago. It was not long after he joined us from Hibs and became Scotland's first £100 000 footballer.
The centre half he was up against tried to noise him up - £100,000 you're not worth 100pence. Colin's answer - you wanna see my bank book.
 
Pedro putting Sutton in his place after the Ross County game on BT. The poor goatblower cringed when Pedro asked him about his achievements as a manager.

 
Was at a night when Andy Goram was a guest speaker.

First story was Rangers were playing St Johnstone. They had a centre half called John Inglis who fancied himself. He shaved his legs and called himself Zues. "He was a prick" says Goram. Anyway Mo Johnston was nailing his bird behind his back - she was a decent bit of crumpet by all accounts

During this game Inglis is marking McCoist and is booting f*ck out him all game. Eventually McCoist gets up and says to him "I dont know why youre kicking me, hes the one shagging your missus" and points at Mojo

He wrecked his head and Ally eventually goes on to score :))

the other story he told was when he just joined and the team were playing 8 a side across the pitch on a Friday before the game as they always did. Theres only a couple of minutes left and Huistra hits a poor shot straight at him. Goram, thinking ahead, sees davie Roberston out wide and thinks, I'll throw this to him, he'll square it to Ally we'll win

But, not concentrating, he lets the ball slip through his legs. They lose 1-0. Hes raging with himself and storms into the dressing room

Durrant is next in: "A million quid for you ya prick?"

Then McCoist: "We should've kept Chris Woods"

Hes raging and then Walter comes in. "You dont need to say anything gaffer, I should have kept my legs shut"

Walter: "Naw, yer maw should have kept her legs shut"
 
Knightswoodbear said:
Can't beat Robbie (or was it Roy) Keane telling the Clyde players that he made more in an hour than they did in a week. We know who had the last laugh there, not very good value for money were the Keane's...
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It was neither of the Keans. Btw only Roy played in that game It was in fact Craig Bell-end who made the remark
 
fergie1959 said:
Cheating here but my favourite is from the world of cricket. Player 1- Why are you such a fat bastard?
Player 2- Because every time I shag your wife I eat a biscuit...
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That was Alan Lamb and I think the actual quote was ‘she gives me a biscuit’. I think the Aussie guy was one of the Chapells.
 
I remember the softly spoken Sandy Jardine somewhat surprising a group of us on a midweek league cup tie at east end park. He was walking from the car park to the stadium with another club official when a Dunfermline fan shouted ‘Jardine your a has been’ to which the bold Sandy replied very politely ‘better than being a never was’ and walked on.

As always the great man was pure class in his delivery!!
 
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Talktalk said:
He said that before a Scotland v England game about Tam Forsyth mate and Tam made that tackle on Channon to shut the fecker up
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Not the same incident. The one before the England game was he called Forsyth a cart horse compared to Martin Buchan , who he said was a thoroughbred. Big Tam was selected in front of Buchan who was Dochertys player. Forsyth then produced the match winning tackle on Channon.
 
usbear said:
No professional but when I was playing in South Africa, we used to have a wee guy from Glasgow called Scott upfront, he was a right cheeky wee bassa, but some finisher. Finished top scorer in the league every season. We were in the top three teams in the league. One of the other teams was from a Portuguese neighborhood in Johannesburg. Their captain was about 6 foot 4 center back and a right nasty bastard, dirty as, and always trying to wind up the wee fella upfront.

The big center back had his right arm amputated from the elbow down.....

After a fiercely contested game in which we won 1-0, and the wee fella had been battered about by this big lump of lad. Scott walked up to big guy and was telling him well played mate, well played while tucking his hand under his elbow and making a shaking elbows gesture to him.......the big man did not take it too well and a fracas ensued :D I was pissing myself
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That must've given him the stump.
 
remember something about Goram when he made a howler in his first season in a league cup semi which Hibs went on to win?

he supposed to have said if he had stayed at hibs he would have won a medal, and he was corrected by a team mate whole told him, that if you had stayed at hibs i would have a medal
 
Jase said:
That was Alan Lamb and I think the actual quote was ‘she gives me a biscuit’. I think the Aussie guy was one of the Chapells.
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Glenn McGrath and Eddo Brandes.

McGrath: “Why are you so fat?”
Brandes: “Because every time I %^*& your wife she gives me a biscuit.”
 
Glen McGrath once asked a West Indian batsman “what does Brian Lara’s dick taste like” and got the reply “ask your wife”.

McGrath wasn’t as able to take it as he was to dish it out and threatened to “rip his fcukin head off”. :))
 
Si Ferry said in one of his podcasts Sutton used to say to him “When you end up working in McDonald’s could you make sure you give my kids extra chips”when he first started training with the first team
 
In the 60s at Scotland v England, Jim Baxter called Alan Ball Jimmy Clitheroe.

(A tv and radio comedian of small stature and squeaky voice who always played a schoolboy.)
 
Zlatan
What John Carew can do with a ball I can do with an orange.
Zlatan again on a defender
I went left he went left i went right he went right i went left again he went to buy a hot dog.

Zlatan at age 17 Arsenal wanted me to go over for a trial I said Zlatan doesn't do auditions.
 
fergie1959 said:
Cheating here but my favourite is from the world of cricket. Player 1- Why are you such a fat bastard?
Player 2- Because every time I shag your wife I eat a biscuit...
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The punchline is "every time I shag your wife she gives me a biscuit."

Another one is Aussie Cricketer Rodney Marsh v Ian Botham:
Marsh: How's your wife and my kids..?
Botham: My wife is fine, your kids are retards.
 
Jim Baxter coming off the Wembley pitch in 67 at half time says to Alan Ball "Son are you not embarrassed to be in the same pitch as me?"

Goram wearing his all white goallie outfit hears a shout from behind the goal.
"Hoy goallie you look vaginal in that outfit"
Goram "Don't you mean virginal?"
"Naw you look like a right c u n t"
 
When Scotland beat England in 1967 at Wembley, Jim Baxter kept Calling Alan Ball, Jimmy Clitheroe.....To all the young ones on here Jimmy Clitheroe was a ''comedian'' who was a small adult who acted as a school boy with a high pitched voice
 
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