Football jargon

[Business_Bear]

Should give Football Cliches podcast a listen.

Listen to it all the time for my sins.

 

[Business_Bear]

'Can't wait to get started' usually peddled by Junior/Amateur players on Twitter this time of year.

Also Amateur teams doing photos for new signings as they sign their reg form!

 

[eastfifer]

He has been on my radar for a while,

 

[Shawlands_Bluenose]

Why are only left footed players described as having a wand?

Because it’s true! You never hear of a .
player being described as having a cultured right foot.

Football cliches in the media - can’t beat someone ‘thrashing out terms’ on a new contract.

Non football - the media term ‘performed a sex act’ always makes me laugh. Visions of a stage show

 

[Grampian Bear]

Wonderkid

Applies to any signing that happens to be under the age of 18. The majority of which you never hear of ever again.

Or if its a keeper

"Kidgloves"

 

[Grampian Bear]

"Def- initely" - hyphenated

"You know"

"I just closed my eyes and hit it, luckily it went in"

"Onion bag"

 

[tambourineman]

Crunch talks
Vote of confidence
Early Doors
Good engine
Vociferous crowd
Diminutive winger

The early Doors were certainly a bit better. The Doors and Strange Days are their best albums. They get my vote of confidence, Morrison still had a good engine and they always played to a vociferous crowd.

 

[The Businessman]

"Powderkeg clash"
"Let go of the purse strings"
"The top brass were convinced"
"Supremo"

 

[Teddy Casablanca]

He did everything right
And it all went wrong
David Coleman

 

[Jonathan E]

"A great advert for Scottish football"

Translation : a high scoring draw with several comical defensive errors, an own goal, at least two red cards and minimum one serious assault.

 

[Carson1912]

Throw the kitchen sink at them.

 

[statto75]

...understands...

 

[Miko]

When they go on about a small striker having an advantage because of his "low centre of gravity".

Plenty of good strikers are over 6ft and seem to get by fine without having this so where is the advantage?

Do you hear of tennis player or rugby players having this so called advantage?

 

[EL CD6]

I don't know why but I hate it when players and managers are always "relishing" things.
Atmospheres, challenges, whatever.
When someone relishes something I just think "what a fud."

 

[Cala Bona]

Minnows

Crunch talks

 

[Dugsy]

"He hit that almost too well" - when someone misses. Presumably if he hit it shitély it would have gone in.

Correct.

 

[chickenhawk]

Square Baw

 

[Peter_OHanrahahanrahan]

A “come and get me plea” being issued to a club by a player.

I always imagine it to be like an Iraqi hostage video.

 

[Jamiegatami]

When a goal is disallowed is it “chopped off” or “chalked off”.

Either way, it’s water off a dugs back to me

 

[Hateley's Mullet]

Dead rubber

 

[Dolphin]

An Assist

False 9.

 

[senefelder]

There is no longer a cross into the box, it's delivery.

 

[Onetruesaxon]

hit the woodwork

 

[Business_Bear]

High Noon Showdown, usually only reserved for Old Firm Games

 

[1BrianLaudrup]

Souness was often facing an SFA rap.

 

[Barry Slimfit]

Whenever they say a keeper “just about” kept it out when he actually saved it.

 

[Jock Newington]

“Just about” onside, kept it in etc
It was either onside or offside
Marginal

 

[nithbear]

`Young guns`
Are the kids` teams armed up and about to indulge in gang warfare ?

 

[nithbear]

`Stuck me toe out, like`..

Julio Geordio

 

[Jamiegatami]

Souness was often facing an SFA rap.

There’s not much rhymes with Souness, tricky one for the SFA!

 

[strider]

I've always been slightly annoyed by "late run".

If they were late they wouldn't be there on time!

 

[Gumbo Pickle Packer]

“Buzzing to get started”

Any individual with a twitter account. From 40-something borderline alcoholics signing on for an amateur team right through to high profile players.

 

[Brissy Bear]

"Good cross, just nobody in the box"

Reality - aimless thump into an empty box.

 

[HMS.Temple.Garden]

"that's on Gio!"

 

[valencia05]

"Finds those pockets of space"

It's a large grass pitch, not a fuckin safari jacket

 

[JimmyBuffetloyal]

A six-pointer
A grass cutter
pinging a pass

 

[1BrianLaudrup]

There’s not much rhymes with Souness, tricky one for the SFA!

SFA "supremo": "Get me Specksy."

 

[Always Ready]

Mostly used by media reporters to sensationalise a story or non story around transfer windows.

Jetted in
Swooped
Snapped up
Ace

There must be more equally as bad.

Ace or star. In tabloid headlines a footballer will always be referred to as '[Team name] ace' or '[Team name] star' rather than his name even if it's much longer. If you're going to be remotely interested in anything related to a 'Kilmarnock star' (sic) chances are you would recognise his name anyway.

 

[Always Ready]

A “come and get me plea” being issued to a club by a player.

I always imagine it to be like an Iraqi hostage video.

I used to imagine it more Carry On style. 'Yoo-hoo, come and get mee, big booy' while pulling camp faces.

 

[Clay Davis]

Player trading model

Feel it has only just just arrived but I’m sick of it.

 

[Glendonagasaki]

Keep them in the corner

 

[GovanFront4]

High Noon Showdown, usually only reserved for Old Firm Games

The small matter of the Old Firm.

 

[bloo1872]

Commentators using 'cameo' for a later second-half substitution.

 

[The Businessman]

I suppose like most other threads, this is a much better laugh whilst reading half pished out the back door on a sunny afternoon.

 

[Otis Blue]

He could play for The ‘ Man Utd’s and Chelsea’s of this world ‘

When referring to a player who could or couldn’t play at a certain level

 

[Lomoon17]

"finds a pocket" Sounds like something Joe Miller did well

 

[instructor]

Pivot and insights are dangerously creeping in.

 

[Business_Bear]

He's just played the ball into an area, our very own Neil McCann likes that one

 

[Millger]

Ref your a C**,t I use this one quit a lot

 

[Dugsy]

I've always been slightly annoyed by "late run".

If they were late they wouldn't be there on time!

Later than everyone else but in time for the ball maybe?