Long read but found it amusing. Sounds like typical Ally.
Life is never dull when Ally McCoist is around, just ask his former Kilmarnock teammate Jim Lauchlan.
Super Ally joined Killie from Rangers in 1998 where he would enjoy three years before hanging up his boots.
Banter and stunts were never far away although getting a teammate to drive at his fellow professionals at 90 miles per hour before performing a handbrake turn surely is teetering on the edge of hilarity and madness.
Mark Reilly recounts the brilliant story of the time he stitched up Jim Lauchlan and got him in hot water with former Rugby Park boss Bobby Williamson.
Mavis told the Talkin Fitbaw Podcast:
"He was sharp as a tack.
"He was late every morning.
"You had young Jim Lauchlan, East End of Glasgow boy, he was brilliant, really funny guy.
"He'd been playing really well, he played a few games and got a new three-year contract.
"Bobby was always sort of hard on Jim. He knew he was a confident, cocky boy and he was always trying to make sure his feet were on the ground.
"So Jim's got a new three-year contract and he goes out and buy's a new Peugeot convertible, a brand new motor with a private number plate.
"He's drove in and Bobby's found out and had him in and gave him what for in the morning.
"Jim's came out looking sheepish and we've said, 'What's going on?'
"Jim said, 'The manager's just slaughtered me for buying the motor, calling me Big Time Charlie and just giving me a real hard time.'
"So just at that point, McCoist comes in about 15 minutes late, always the life and soul and says, 'What's the banter the day boys?'
"He's said to me, 'What's happening Mavis?'
"I've told him about big Jim and he says, 'Brilliant, we'll have a bit of fun with him this morning.'
"At that point, Bobby comes in, back then we had no training ground so you used to have to beg and borrow where you were training.
"That day we were training at some open grass area near Irvine, we didn't really know where it was but the coaching staff had went and sourced it.
"Bobby's come in and said, 'We're training at Irvine today, we'll just go in a convoy of cars, we'll all follow each other to get there.'
"Coisty's turned round and said, 'Lauchy! Me, Mavis and Bunion (Paul Wright) will travel with you this morning - see what the new motor's like.'
"Big Jim's still a bit sheepish.
"Coisty's always late so he's getting his socks and that on and Jim's saying, 'Come on Coisty, hurry up, I canny be late because I've already got into trouble this morning.'
"Coisty's saying, 'Listen, don't worry about it Jim, you're with me, you can do anything with your auld da, it doesn't matter.'
"He said, 'Infact, I've got a brilliant idea. See on the way into Irvine we'll have a wee bet - if we see any random guys we'll stop the car and I'll ask them the way to this training field and we'll see how many guys recognise me. We'll have a wee sweepstake, see who gets it right.'
"I'm thinking, 'What's going on here?' I knew he was up to something.
"All he was trying to do was delay us and make us really late for training but I didn't know what was going on.
"Jim's saying, 'Coisty, I don't think that's a good idea' but Coisty's said, 'Listen, it'll be fine.'
"So that's what we've done, we've drove into Irvine, stopped a couple of guys and it's the usual - 'Ally McCoist, can I get your autograph?'
"Eventually we say, 'We better go to training.'
"At this point we must be 20-25 minutes late, so we get towards where this training area is.
"It's really open, we could see it from what must've been a good quarter of a mile away, you could see the wee dots training.
"I'm sitting in the back with Bunion, McCoist in the passenger seat and Jim's driving and he says, 'Right, how does this roof go down Jim, where's the buttons?'
"He's pressing the buttons and put the roof down and says, 'I've got a great idea, do you think you could get 120 out of this?'
"Jim's saying, 'No, no, no, the guys in the garage said I've to keep it at 70mph for the first week.'
"McCoist said, 'That's a load of rubbish, I think you can get at least 110, 100 anyway. We'll go on the grass area right, you get the foot to the floor, see if you can get a hundred out it.'
"And he says, 'We'll drive into the boys, they'll see us coming, it's a big area and they'll all scatter. We'll do a wee handbrake turn and we'll open the doors, get out the motor and we'll just join in training - it'll be some laugh, the manager will love it, the boys will love it, it'll be brilliant.'
"I'm looking at Bunion and he's looking at me and the two of us are putting our seatbelts on and we're thinking, 'This isn't going to end well.'
"Jim's saying, 'Oh, I don't know Coisty' But he's saying, 'I'm telling you it'll be brilliant, it'll get you back in the good books, you're with me, you know you can get away with anything with me.'
"So Jim's like that, 'Ok.'
"So he's got his foot to the floor and by this point he must be doing about 80-90mph and it was like everything went in slow motion.
"Training stopped, everybody turned, looked towards us and at the last minute everybody scatters.
"Coisty pulls on the handbrake, the car spins, nearly actually goes up on its side, open the doors and the four of us get out.
"To this day, it's the angriest I've ever saw Bobby Williamson.
"He's running over shouting, 'IT'S ALWAYS YOU LAUCHLAN!'
"Coisty gets out the car and says, 'Gaffer, I've told him - you canny dae that, you canny dae that.'
"He just stitched him up and Bobby said, 'That's it, you're fined two weeks wages Lauchlan!' and Jim's shouting, 'Coisty told me to do that!'
"Coisty's saying, 'Gaffer I told him you canny dae that, you canny get away with that.'
"Every day was like that, it was a scream.
"It was brilliant it really was, great times."
Life is never dull when Ally McCoist is around, just ask his former Kilmarnock teammate Jim Lauchlan.
Super Ally joined Killie from Rangers in 1998 where he would enjoy three years before hanging up his boots.
Banter and stunts were never far away although getting a teammate to drive at his fellow professionals at 90 miles per hour before performing a handbrake turn surely is teetering on the edge of hilarity and madness.
Mark Reilly recounts the brilliant story of the time he stitched up Jim Lauchlan and got him in hot water with former Rugby Park boss Bobby Williamson.
Mavis told the Talkin Fitbaw Podcast:
"He was sharp as a tack.
"He was late every morning.
"You had young Jim Lauchlan, East End of Glasgow boy, he was brilliant, really funny guy.
"He'd been playing really well, he played a few games and got a new three-year contract.
"Bobby was always sort of hard on Jim. He knew he was a confident, cocky boy and he was always trying to make sure his feet were on the ground.
"So Jim's got a new three-year contract and he goes out and buy's a new Peugeot convertible, a brand new motor with a private number plate.
"He's drove in and Bobby's found out and had him in and gave him what for in the morning.
"Jim's came out looking sheepish and we've said, 'What's going on?'
"Jim said, 'The manager's just slaughtered me for buying the motor, calling me Big Time Charlie and just giving me a real hard time.'
"So just at that point, McCoist comes in about 15 minutes late, always the life and soul and says, 'What's the banter the day boys?'
"He's said to me, 'What's happening Mavis?'
"I've told him about big Jim and he says, 'Brilliant, we'll have a bit of fun with him this morning.'
"At that point, Bobby comes in, back then we had no training ground so you used to have to beg and borrow where you were training.
"That day we were training at some open grass area near Irvine, we didn't really know where it was but the coaching staff had went and sourced it.
"Bobby's come in and said, 'We're training at Irvine today, we'll just go in a convoy of cars, we'll all follow each other to get there.'
"Coisty's turned round and said, 'Lauchy! Me, Mavis and Bunion (Paul Wright) will travel with you this morning - see what the new motor's like.'
"Big Jim's still a bit sheepish.
"Coisty's always late so he's getting his socks and that on and Jim's saying, 'Come on Coisty, hurry up, I canny be late because I've already got into trouble this morning.'
"Coisty's saying, 'Listen, don't worry about it Jim, you're with me, you can do anything with your auld da, it doesn't matter.'
"He said, 'Infact, I've got a brilliant idea. See on the way into Irvine we'll have a wee bet - if we see any random guys we'll stop the car and I'll ask them the way to this training field and we'll see how many guys recognise me. We'll have a wee sweepstake, see who gets it right.'
"I'm thinking, 'What's going on here?' I knew he was up to something.
"All he was trying to do was delay us and make us really late for training but I didn't know what was going on.
"Jim's saying, 'Coisty, I don't think that's a good idea' but Coisty's said, 'Listen, it'll be fine.'
"So that's what we've done, we've drove into Irvine, stopped a couple of guys and it's the usual - 'Ally McCoist, can I get your autograph?'
"Eventually we say, 'We better go to training.'
"At this point we must be 20-25 minutes late, so we get towards where this training area is.
"It's really open, we could see it from what must've been a good quarter of a mile away, you could see the wee dots training.
"I'm sitting in the back with Bunion, McCoist in the passenger seat and Jim's driving and he says, 'Right, how does this roof go down Jim, where's the buttons?'
"He's pressing the buttons and put the roof down and says, 'I've got a great idea, do you think you could get 120 out of this?'
"Jim's saying, 'No, no, no, the guys in the garage said I've to keep it at 70mph for the first week.'
"McCoist said, 'That's a load of rubbish, I think you can get at least 110, 100 anyway. We'll go on the grass area right, you get the foot to the floor, see if you can get a hundred out it.'
"And he says, 'We'll drive into the boys, they'll see us coming, it's a big area and they'll all scatter. We'll do a wee handbrake turn and we'll open the doors, get out the motor and we'll just join in training - it'll be some laugh, the manager will love it, the boys will love it, it'll be brilliant.'
"I'm looking at Bunion and he's looking at me and the two of us are putting our seatbelts on and we're thinking, 'This isn't going to end well.'
"Jim's saying, 'Oh, I don't know Coisty' But he's saying, 'I'm telling you it'll be brilliant, it'll get you back in the good books, you're with me, you know you can get away with anything with me.'
"So Jim's like that, 'Ok.'
"So he's got his foot to the floor and by this point he must be doing about 80-90mph and it was like everything went in slow motion.
"Training stopped, everybody turned, looked towards us and at the last minute everybody scatters.
"Coisty pulls on the handbrake, the car spins, nearly actually goes up on its side, open the doors and the four of us get out.
"To this day, it's the angriest I've ever saw Bobby Williamson.
"He's running over shouting, 'IT'S ALWAYS YOU LAUCHLAN!'
"Coisty gets out the car and says, 'Gaffer, I've told him - you canny dae that, you canny dae that.'
"He just stitched him up and Bobby said, 'That's it, you're fined two weeks wages Lauchlan!' and Jim's shouting, 'Coisty told me to do that!'
"Coisty's saying, 'Gaffer I told him you canny dae that, you canny get away with that.'
"Every day was like that, it was a scream.
"It was brilliant it really was, great times."
