Homer Simpson quotes

Spinning Blue

Spinning Blue

Well-Known Member
Was tremendous on the old board.

Here's a starter from the early seasons.

Homer sees a trampoline for sale in the paper:

Homer - "Oh my God, tramampoline, trambampoline".

Bart - "He said what now"?

Homer jumps in the car then runs some poor bugger off the road screaming "That trampoline is mine"

That scene cracks me up every time.
 
I never apologise, I'm sorry but it's just the way I am.

You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel
 
Homer - there's the right way, the wrong way and the max power way
Lisa - isn't that usually the wrong way?
Homer - yes, only faster
 
"Look Marge, you don't know what it's like -- I'm the one out there every day putting his ass on the line. And I'm not out of order! You're out of order! The whole freakin' system is out of order! You want the truth? You want the truth?! You can't HANDLE the truth! 'Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do! Forget it, Marge, it's Chinatown!"
 
Don't worry I've got a plan. I've seen this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around the city, keeping it's speed over 50 and if it's speed dropped, it would explode! I think it was called, "The Bus that couldn't slow down"
 
“I’m like that guy who single handedly built the rocket and flew to the moon. What was his name?
Apollo Creed?”
 
Marge: I guess we could get more involved in Bart's activities, but then I'd be afraid of smothering him.

Homer: Yeah, and then we'd get the chair.

Marge: That's not what I meant.

Homer: It was, Marge. Admit it.
 
“Oh yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?”
 
Homer- 'you broke a promise to our daughter.'
Marge-'Homer what are you talking about'
Homer- 'You promised Lisa you would help her with her costume pageant, you didn't,so I did, she cried, then Bart cried, then I cried, then Maggie laughed,
Oh she's such a little trooper.
 
You're as pretty as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.
 
Dr Hubert -'Homer you suffer from a very rare disease called Homer Simpson Syndrome.'
Homer- 'ohhh why me!!!!!'
 
Homer-'ok but I don't trust you guys,with my car, so I'm counting the pennies in the ashstray'
Pause
Homer-'There's 4 of them'
 
The whole scene when he is welcoming Frank Grimes to his home and Grimey is losing the plot.

Grimes: You were in space?!

Homer: Yea! Why haven't you been?

*awkward silence*

Homer: would you like to see my Grammy?

That whole episode is fantastic, classic Homer.
 
As Homer falls to his death from an aerorplane(or maybe off a mountain) he starts to pray. "I'm not normally a praying man but if you're up there, please save me, Superman."
 
Bolton Bear said:
"Look Marge, you don't know what it's like -- I'm the one out there every day putting his ass on the line. And I'm not out of order! You're out of order! The whole freakin' system is out of order! You want the truth? You want the truth?! You can't HANDLE the truth! 'Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do! Forget it, Marge, it's Chinatown!"
Click to expand...

One of the best episodes ever.

Eat the pudding. Eat the pudding. Eat the pudding.
 
Marge-'Homer quick he's having a heart attack, perform CPR.'
Homer- 'I see a bad moon rising,I see trouble on the way'
Marge-'Not CCR Homer, CPR.'
 
The all you can eat buffet is closing and Homers going mental after being asked to finish up and leave shouting "it says all you can eat and I've not eaten all that I can".
 
"That Gambling monster that has enslaved your Mother - I call him Gamblor, and it's time to rescue her from his neon claws "

"Son , I don't mean to alarm you , but there may be a bogeyman or bogeyMEN in the house "
 
Stupid Sexy Flanders!

Marge: "You're not in competition with each other"
Homer: "I just found out Bart's team is playing Lisa's team, they're in direct competition! Fight fight fight fight fight"
 
When Marge was worried how the children were gonna get home during a snow storm...

Marge..."How will the kids get home,Homer...?.."

Homer..."I dunno.........internet..?.."....:D
 
After being invited to Flanders BBQ -

"The jokes on him, I'll he dead in the morning"
 
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