Kerryfail Meltdown - It's the hope that kills you

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I was about seven years of age when I first started wondering where the huns were getting all that money from and what they were up to. It always seemed like there were stories aplenty waiting to be unearthed for our intrepid hacks. What a shame they were far too busy with their tongues up Murray’s arse and giving his tonsils a good clean. Now they’re balls deep in presenting alt-history and allowing Moon-howlers to rewrite jail sentences for assault as a grand conspiracy against the very club that was aided and abetted by the football authorities in an orgy of cheating.

7 years old and he's was thinking about our finances some childhood he had
 
posted today, deadline is in a fortnight:

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I was about seven years of age when I first started wondering where the huns were getting all that money from and what they were up to. It always seemed like there were stories aplenty waiting to be unearthed for our intrepid hacks. What a shame they were far too busy with their tongues up Murray’s arse and giving his tonsils a good clean. Now they’re balls deep in presenting alt-history and allowing Moon-howlers to rewrite jail sentences for assault as a grand conspiracy against the very club that was aided and abetted by the football authorities in an orgy of cheating.

7 years old and he's was thinking about our finances some childhood he had

You would have thought he'd have been too busy running away from creepy Uncle Sean to worry about Rangers.
 
Cliff Richard once played a concert at Honda FC’s Stadium in Japan and kept getting asked by some folk in the crowd to sing ‘itchyfanny’. Cliff was bewildered at these requests and says to the crowd “ I’ve never written a song called itchyfanny, how does it go?”. A Japanese fan in the crowd then starts singing “itchyfanny, how we don’t talk anymore”.
I’ll get my coat and prepare for my ban.
 
I was about seven years of age when I first started wondering where the huns were getting all that money from and what they were up to. It always seemed like there were stories aplenty waiting to be unearthed for our intrepid hacks. What a shame they were far too busy with their tongues up Murray’s arse and giving his tonsils a good clean. Now they’re balls deep in presenting alt-history and allowing Moon-howlers to rewrite jail sentences for assault as a grand conspiracy against the very club that was aided and abetted by the football authorities in an orgy of cheating.

7 years old and he's was thinking about our finances some childhood he had
What 7 year old wonders about your teams main rivals finances?

File this under things that clearly never happened.
 
Cliff Richard once played a concert at Honda FC’s Stadium in Japan and kept getting asked by some folk in the crowd to sing ‘itchyfanny’. Cliff was bewildered at these requests and says to the crowd “ I’ve never written a song called itchyfanny, how does it go?”. A Japanese fan in the crowd then starts singing “itchyfanny, how we don’t talk anymore”.
I’ll get my coat and prepare for my ban.
That's so bad it's funny,the yung wuns
 
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