Kids football - what is it about parents?

The coaches at my 7yo’s setup are fantastic, everything is positive and encouraging. My wee one was a late starter and the improvement in his game has been phenomenal in the 18months he’s been playing due to the patience shown by them.

At the stage he needs to move on and I’m dreading it due to stuff I’ve witnessed from other coaches and parents.
He will be fine. Don't be in a hurry to find the right team.
 
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Kids football is like a microcosm of life in general.You will find most parents ,coaches and kids are fine but you will definetly come across a fair amount of arseholes.Some parents are oversensitive and will get upset at their kid being tackled fairly or not.One of the most common shouts you will hear is"for fk sake it's only weans fitba" usually from a parent or coach who's team are getting a beating.I would recommend getting involved yourself and take your coaching badges.Its great to see some of the kids develop over the years and if a training ground move comes off its brilliant:)
I’ve agreed to help out. The team only had a few coaches and whilst I won’t be there all the time, I’ll do my bit.

Good bunch of kids and coaches.
 
I remember playing for Irvine thistle against Riccarton, east Ayrshire, they turned up in the back of a pick up. We beat them and after the game the players and parents all wanted a square go. This was under 15’s :)

There me nothing wrong with installing a little bit of nastiness into the kids but their is a fine line.
 
Thing is, the boys will go through this as the hormones kick in and around 14+ it does get quite a bit rougher. There's a time to just let them enjoy playing and most coaches know this.

I don't let my kids play for any coaches I have the slightest concern about. I have taken one of them out of a team where the "tackling" was wild. You can't really do much about parents who you wouldn't share a minute if your life with if you met them elsewhere.
In the main, and I'm going back 20 odd years, my boy was a 1994, most of the clubs and coaches were brand new.

At AV BC every boy regardless of ability and size/ strength got equal playing time. The coaches were right good guys and had an even split of abilities in both teams, rather than the often seen 1 strong and 1 weak team.

I've been to see my 6-year-old grandson playing and to say I wasn't overly enamoured with his boys club is an understatement.
 
Thing is, the boys will go through this as the hormones kick in and around 14+ it does get quite a bit rougher. There's a time to just let them enjoy playing and most coaches know this.

I don't let my kids play for any coaches I have the slightest concern about. I have taken one of them out of a team where the "tackling" was wild. You can't really do much about parents who you wouldn't share a minute if your life with if you met them elsewhere.
I should have added, the irony was they probably had the best set-up, certainly in the Hamilton area, and all their teams played very good football.
 
I think kids football from age 6-12 should be about enjoyment and improvement of technique only - results should be secondary and the cream will rise to the top anyway.

To many young coaches are too interested in ‘their’ own records in terms results.

I do take my hat off off to folks who take the time to run kid’s football though
Your right up to a point the score should be irrelevant - I’d say fun4s through to 9 aside the score shouldn’t matter a jot and everyone should get game time - once you get to 11s there is more of a competitive edge.
 
Worst thing, from watching my son play over the last 4/5 years, is listening to idiot parents (here in the USA) that have zero knowledge of the game and the rules.
Had one yesterday where KBN Jnr playing left back did a block tackle and the attacker went flying over the ball and his leg, perfectly good challenge. Cletus and his bucktoothed wife start yelling at him for the tackle.. he turns and says I clearly won the ball to them to which they start losing their shit… he’s 11. They’re yelling stuff at an 11 year old. Utter losers.
 
At the kids football today. Ten year olds.

My kids team got hammered in the first half. 4-0. But in the Second half turned it around and they completely wiped the floor with them to win 8-4 :D

As the other team were getting beaten the players started getting nasty. One of the boys went in knee high, studs first and our player took the studs all down his knee. Left a nasty bruise.

These are ten year olds.

At the end of the game, one of the fathers was heard encouraging his kid to do it harder next time as he deserved it.

It wasn’t an isolated incident. Constant egging them on to ‘go in hard’.

What is it about kids football that turns some parents into complete arseholes?

I’m only just started to get involved in it but I presume this bollox is commonplace?
It’s not just football either. Some of the stuff I have seen on a golf course is unreal too. Yes, golf! Parents need to be no where near the pitches and let the kids play. its a sad day when they are coached to hurt at that age.
 
I've seen stand up fights with adults at U12 games, on one occasion the police got called and two parents got arrested.
 
My daughter plays under-9 and yesterday their opposition’s coach spent the first half (of a game which was 2:2 at halftime) telling his team to, “go for the throat, they don’t know what they are doing”.

Generally people are fine but that means that when you do see bad behaviour the effect is amplified.
 
Thing is mate, you might get beat 20-0 every other week- but if you are the guy who ends up progressing a player or two then you’ll be the better coach
100% mate. Come up against a lot of teams with coaches just screaming at the kids and losing the plot when not winning. It this age their development honestly is the main goal, we all want to win but seeing them improving week after week is its own wee win.
 
It's usually frustrated, jealous dad's living vicariously through their sons because they were shite when they were that age.

They had all sorts of fantasist dreams thinking they'd be a pro footballer but they've ended up in a sandwich factory.
This in a nutshell.

Unfulfilled hopes and dreams, failed existences, desperate for their sons to achieve what they themselves failed to achieve.
 
100% mate. Come up against a lot of teams with coaches just screaming at the kids and losing the plot when not winning. It this age their development honestly is the main goal, we all want to win but seeing them improving week after week is its own wee win.
Good on you taking the time out to coach kids Sir.
 
As some have alluded to this is parents doing majority of the coaching for their child. To be a "coach" you do 1.1 level which has no pass fail mark until 1.3 level this is the issue. Some of these people should not be allowed near children.
 
My young lad is 2013 it is absolutely horrendous at times. I laugh when i hear parents of other teams speaking and saying how their son was so good he put someone in the air. Its beconing toxic. We are lucky enough that the club my son is at take a zero tolerance. But it does not help when the referee even at that age has a certain agenda to the side of the fence the kid is born on (NI)
 
Scottish fitba is f.ucked forever. We will never achieve, nor win a single thing where it matters.

Scottish parents at kids fitba games are absolute bampots.

Its an eye opener reading this thread. Seems many teams are stuck decades ago and never progressed. I was listening to an interview by Zeb Jacobs, Rangers academy head of coaching, and he was talking about coaching younger players. He mentioned that part of his role is to try and predict how football will actually be played in 10/15 years when the youngsters are reaching first team level.
 
Most are. Seen a few absolute throbbers lose it when their team is being beaten though. The need for 10 year olds to win a game is a bit disturbing tbh.

I watched my boy's team take a hefty loss in a game. The opposition coaches were all smiley, jokey and encouraging. The next time they played they got beaten. Shouting and bawling and as the game went on the boys started getting more aggressive. To me, it came from the behaviour they saw on the sidelines.

It 100% comes from the example they are set from the sidelines.
 
When my eldest was playing boys football his coach was ex pro Gerry Ronald.

Initially he did not want parents to turn up to watch for most of the pish already spouted in the thread, but was told by his backroom team that parents want to watch their kids play. He was under the correct impression, imo, that kids would look and listen to their maws and dads shouting etc. at wrong time of game, not allowing them to focus and they would not learn as quick
So he spoke to each and every parent and told us:

a/ he was the coach, not us
b/ the kids would listen and learn from him and his staff, not them.
c/ no issues with coming to watch their kids but that is it until end of game when you can then discuss, praise yer lad etc.

Finished with if you don't agree with this then please take your lad and go to another team where you can do this.

They became a great wee team and won loads of trophies following these rules.
 
My lad played for a team down here at under 7s where the 2 coaches ended up rolling about the pitch. Unbelievable scenes. Kids football really brings out the worst in people
 
At the kids football today. Ten year olds.

My kids team got hammered in the first half. 4-0. But in the Second half turned it around and they completely wiped the floor with them to win 8-4 :D

As the other team were getting beaten the players started getting nasty. One of the boys went in knee high, studs first and our player took the studs all down his knee. Left a nasty bruise.

These are ten year olds.

At the end of the game, one of the fathers was heard encouraging his kid to do it harder next time as he deserved it.

It wasn’t an isolated incident. Constant egging them on to ‘go in hard’.

What is it about kids football that turns some parents into complete arseholes?

I’m only just started to get involved in it but I presume this bollox is commonplace?
Quiet word with the father needed. Probably bullied as a child.
 
Admittedly only of BB caliber in my youth - many years ago, to be sure - I never saw a parent turn up, ever, at any of our games. It's probably something we'd have found embarrassing. Nowadays, the presence of parents generally means uninvited coaching throughout the match and, ultimately, disillusioned kids.
 
At my sons game today, 1 of the mums from the other team shouted “just kick them”.

Had to send my wife to the car as she was going to strangle her lol.

10 year old boys and this is the encouragement they were getting from the sidelines.
 
So..... I coached a 2013s side last year (my boy has moved sides and I'm just a parent now) and I coach two 2011s sides.

Parents can be hard work. However, they mean well and turn up.

A wee story from this weekend - my 9 year old Lewis, his side got beaten 3-1. But he has a "thou shall not pass" streak. Boy is right through on goal, Lewis grabs his shirt by the collar and drags him back for 10 yards until the wee boy is floored.

Every parent (both sides) burst out laughing. It was Chellini / Saka stuff.
 
My kid is 2016 age group (p2) it's horrendous.
Some of the coaches are worse than parents.
Give a parent who has never kicked a ball in any decent level a Managers coat and they think they’re Alex Ferguson, all that is wrong with youth football in Scotland is summed up in my first sentence.
 
I coach my son's 2015s at five a sides and 99 per cent of other team coaches and parents are there to let the weans play football, score goals and have fun. Love meeting a lot of the other coaches and exchanging pleasantries each week.

However, It's these fannies in the so called "elite" teams who nick all the so called "best" players from all over the region and fire out 5 players to absolutely batter every team each week and have the cheek to call themselves coaches. Shouting at 7 year olds about "falling to pieces" or "give yourselves a good shake" when a so called "lesser" team has beaten them is disgusting.

The kids playing in these teams are not enjoying it and are forced there by their parents IMO. They can't be enjoying it even when winning having their coaches scream instruction and tactics at them all game, every kick of the ball!!

99.9999 per cent of these kids won't make it "Pro" so just do your job as a parent and coach and let them have fun, give them structure but allow them to figure it out and find out how the game works for themselves in equal measure.

I agree with an earlier comment about wishing kids just played for their local team, for the fun of the game until they are old enough to know any better.

Parents and coaches egos are the worst part of it all for me without a doubt.
 
As a coach myself I am lucky to have a great set of parents that don't interfere and only shout encouraging comments. However if as we go up through the ages our parents turn into this to me its up to us as coaches to reign them in, if not they will be asked not to come.

As I said luckily our parents are good and having just had our 3rd match at 7 a side level we had a very tough test against a team that all played 7 a side last year. None of them were annoyed and were full of praise for the way the girls continued to play their game against a much bigger and more experienced side. When youth football is like this it's fantastic to be involved in, on the other hand hearing some of the comments from parents and coaches at some of my step sons games can get the blood boiling and having to really restrain yourself.
 
Agree
Played a bit in my day, decent level and now watch my boy every sunday
watch from as far from pitch as possible.
some teams/coaches a disgrace and parents are ridiculous.
some teams coaches great to watch as well.
Its the woman who are the worst for it ,I stay near a pitch and all I hear screaming and raised voices every Saturday and Sunday morning, brutal stuff.
 
I coach my son's 2015s at five a sides and 99 per cent of other team coaches and parents are there to let the weans play football, score goals and have fun. Love meeting a lot of the other coaches and exchanging pleasantries each week.

However, It's these fannies in the so called "elite" teams who nick all the so called "best" players from all over the region and fire out 5 players to absolutely batter every team each week and have the cheek to call themselves coaches. Shouting at 7 year olds about "falling to pieces" or "give yourselves a good shake" when a so called "lesser" team has beaten them is disgusting.

The kids playing in these teams are not enjoying it and are forced there by their parents IMO. They can't be enjoying it even when winning having their coaches scream instruction and tactics at them all game, every kick of the ball!!

99.9999 per cent of these kids won't make it "Pro" so just do your job as a parent and coach and let them have fun, give them structure but allow them to figure it out and find out how the game works for themselves in equal measure.

I agree with an earlier comment about wishing kids just played for their local team, for the fun of the game until they are old enough to know any better.

Parents and coaches egos are the worst part of it all for me without a doubt.
This is my experience to from coaching side with the girls anyway. As I just said our girls had their toughest match yet today. Yet they kept battling away and got themselves a couple of goals. They all came off with a smile on their face and were buzzing to come back to training on Thursday and do it all again next week. Being involved with it has made me fall back in love with the game.

Also said I have seen the other side with my step sons games though. His old coach even at younger ages was too obsessed with winning, when they didn't win the boys were coming off crying and many have since gave up with the game completely. It's horrendous.
 
I played at a decent level a fair number of years back.
I moved away from Glasgow for a while through work and came across a neighbour who was coaching a kids team who knew me back then.
He invited me along to help with his team.
There was one kid who stood out a mile.
A wee left footed left back who could actually use the ball.
Unfortunately, encouraged by parents of most of the team, he was used to just getting the ball “up the park”.
I showed him and his pals some stuff about passing and moving, very much basics, but he took everything I said on board.
Game time and the daddy’s, and some mummy’s, were going mental at the change in the game.
So much so that I was nose to nose at one point and threatened by others.
Anyway, things calmed down a bit and the father of the main lad actually apologised a saw a lot of improvement in their boy.
However, the best is yet to come.
End of season, the team have wiped the board and are getting their medals at a night out where two of the local senior club’s players are doing the presenting.
But, there is a game to play first.
Game starts and after about five minutes, “my boy” takes a pass from the centre back, decides there is nothing on and plays it back to him.
Senior professional yells out “just get the ball up the park, wee man.”
I could have cried.
My last involvement as a “coach”.
”My boy” did not too bad but moved south with his work and played their version of juniors till he was about forty!
Oh this I another thing that gets me. Remember my stepsons coach having a go at my stepson for making a mistake. He miskicked the ball that was the mistake but the coach had a go for passing backwards, I had to have words with the coach the reason he passed it backwards was because it was the only pass on. If he makes a mistake, brilliant it's only youth football and its a learning experience.
 
Your right up to a point the score should be irrelevant - I’d say fun4s through to 9 aside the score shouldn’t matter a jot and everyone should get game time - once you get to 11s there is more of a competitive edge.

The scores don't matter at fun 4s it is all about them having fun and just kicking the ball about. 2017s team I help coach with have just started their season 3 weeks ago but if scores were to matter it would become a farce because teams would just pick their 10-12 best kids for it.

I know that was happening with a couple of teams in fun 4 kickabouts.
 
Same thing happened to my son 26 years ago studded in the calf you could see all the stud marks. Asked the ref what he was going to do and he says he never saw it. The evidence was on my son's leg nothing was said to the wee boy who committed the offence. Its going on for years the better players chuck it as they get fed up being hacked down all the time. In our game today there are very few good Scottish players in our top league most are just hackers the way they were taught and brought up.
Saw one wee clown (2014 level) on Saturday who was fouling anyone and everyone within range for the whole game. Horrible little individual. He got a sore one late on (the tackle didn’t look malicious in any way) and went over crying to his mum. Have to say I laughed.
 
I used to coach under 10s in Glasgow. Can’t say I ever had issues with this. We certainly came up against one or two rough teams but I can’t remember it being a problem. As long as our parents were on message it was fine by me. Some of them were constantly repeating what I was saying and keeping our guys goal side.
 
I lost it with a parent last week after my son (GK) went down at the strikers feet and onto the ball. He lay on the ball like all keepers do waiting for his team to get back into position. One of the boys started shouting telling him to hurry up and his dad shouted “next time he does that just kick him”

I’m a coach so have to try and watch my conduct but that crossed the line. After “politely” telling the parent what I thought of him I had a less than pleasant chat with their coach.

I’m at the point where I’m arguing with parents and coaches every week. They allow their kids to shout and swear at other players and coaches. On Saturday I had a 10 year old tell me to “shut it you” because I had the audacity to make him aware of the rule on retreat lines. That again led to an argument with their coach!
 
Noticed over the past couple of years, that parents haven’t been allowed inside the cage.

Not sure if ‘Covid’ was the original reasoning, and it’s just stuck, but I definitely think it’s helpful.

I try not to coach from the side lines, as difficult as it is, but I’d say recently there’s a lot less hostility on the side lines than there was when I was young.
 
The scores don't matter at fun 4s it is all about them having fun and just kicking the ball about. 2017s team I help coach with have just started their season 3 weeks ago but if scores were to matter it would become a farce because teams would just pick their 10-12 best kids for it.

I know that was happening with a couple of teams in fun 4 kickabouts.
That's exactly it mate, it shouldn't make a difference what the score is until they move to 11s

even 7s / 9s pathway - scores shouldn't matter - I coached from 7s through to 9s to 11s and until the first season of 11s i told all the kids and parents everyone would get equal game time - when it got to p7 / s1 - I told them all they had 4 hours a week to try and earn a spot at training- the good habits of turning up / on time / listening / not messing about etc as those were sure fire ways to limit game time.
 
I should also add i have been fairly lucky with the parents of the kids i have coached over the years - very very few if any have really causes issues either on the side lines or the group chats etc but i have witnessed plenty who have been an embarrassment - its a bad day when refs are having to send off parents and not kids.
 
Worst thing, from watching my son play over the last 4/5 years, is listening to idiot parents (here in the USA) that have zero knowledge of the game and the rules.
Had one yesterday where KBN Jnr playing left back did a block tackle and the attacker went flying over the ball and his leg, perfectly good challenge. Cletus and his bucktoothed wife start yelling at him for the tackle.. he turns and says I clearly won the ball to them to which they start losing their shit… he’s 11. They’re yelling stuff at an 11 year old. Utter losers.
I take it from your description the parents were total scum. If so probably hoping junior gets a sports career that gets them out of their trailer.
 
I coach my son's 2015s at five a sides and 99 per cent of other team coaches and parents are there to let the weans play football, score goals and have fun. Love meeting a lot of the other coaches and exchanging pleasantries each week.

However, It's these fannies in the so called "elite" teams who nick all the so called "best" players from all over the region and fire out 5 players to absolutely batter every team each week and have the cheek to call themselves coaches. Shouting at 7 year olds about "falling to pieces" or "give yourselves a good shake" when a so called "lesser" team has beaten them is disgusting.

The kids playing in these teams are not enjoying it and are forced there by their parents IMO. They can't be enjoying it even when winning having their coaches scream instruction and tactics at them all game, every kick of the ball!!

99.9999 per cent of these kids won't make it "Pro" so just do your job as a parent and coach and let them have fun, give them structure but allow them to figure it out and find out how the game works for themselves in equal measure.

I agree with an earlier comment about wishing kids just played for their local team, for the fun of the game until they are old enough to know any better.

Parents and coaches egos are the worst part of it all for me without a doubt.
My wee boy was a good 2016 and has decided to play in goals at 2015s. Breaking my heart but its his choice
 
At the kids football today. Ten year olds.

My kids team got hammered in the first half. 4-0. But in the Second half turned it around and they completely wiped the floor with them to win 8-4 :D

As the other team were getting beaten the players started getting nasty. One of the boys went in knee high, studs first and our player took the studs all down his knee. Left a nasty bruise.

These are ten year olds.

At the end of the game, one of the fathers was heard encouraging his kid to do it harder next time as he deserved it.

It wasn’t an isolated incident. Constant egging them on to ‘go in hard’.

What is it about kids football that turns some parents into complete arseholes?

I’m only just started to get involved in it but I presume this bollox is commonplace?
Ban the parents from the side lines. It’s been getting worse in recent years after covid things just got out of hand. I would have the subs 1 coach and a first aider at the side of the park. Was a ref for 10 years chucked it last year as things were getting so bad.
 
That's exactly it mate, it shouldn't make a difference what the score is until they move to 11s

even 7s / 9s pathway - scores shouldn't matter - I coached from 7s through to 9s to 11s and until the first season of 11s i told all the kids and parents everyone would get equal game time - when it got to p7 / s1 - I told them all they had 4 hours a week to try and earn a spot at training- the good habits of turning up / on time / listening / not messing about etc as those were sure fire ways to limit game time.

I've only just started doing the coaching in October last year and I love doing it wish I had started earlier with it to be honest. Scores shouldn't matter at that age group as you say even more so when in our case it ranges from 4-6 years old who just come along and want to just play football. If scores mattered then less teams would be entered which would mean kids missing out on an hours worth of football which isn't right.
 
My wee boy was a good 2016 and has decided to play in goals at 2015s. Breaking my heart but its his choice
My wee lad is a goalie too and loves it. I know other wee boys who want a shot at going in goals but say their dad won't let them!!

You're doing the right thing letting HIM decide.
 
I help coach my kids team, only 2015’s and just moved from fun 4’s to 5’s

Not witnessed much myself first had to date, couple of shouting matches once or twice on other pitches I’ve overheard but that’s about it

Heard some horror stories right enough

What I will say having done this for a a few years nearly now, the coaches don’t get the credit they deserve. Give up a lot of their free time and a lot of work goes in away from the 2x training sessions per week and then a game day that parents don’t see and it’s obviously all voluntary
 
My wee boy was a good 2016 and has decided to play in goals at 2015s. Breaking my heart but its his choice
Wouldnt worry mate, I have seen it both ways.

Our starting goalie now was a full back until he was 12 years old - still has a cracking left foot.

Also had a pro youth (at the time had just been released by Hamilton) level goalkeeper, who decided he wanted to be a midfielder at 13 - he currently plays in the CSFA B league at a decent standard in centre mid.

They will find there way especially at such a young age - they should be encouraged to try all positions and see what they enjoy the most.
 
I coach my sons
2013s. Some of teams we play in the West Lothian area are rough as toast. We even had a match abandoned last year when a parent started mouthing off at a decision the referee made.

It’s also clear to see why we rarely produce any decent players as a country. Teams already poaching players that are 9 and never the ones who are actually technically good. Always the lad who can shoot from distance and thump it long

This is something that bothers me.

Kids that age should just be enjoying themselves and learning skills. You then couple “thump the ball long / go in hard“ coaching with, beyond doubt, the worst referees in the entire world, and you can see why Scotland will never produce any players nor win anything better than a shitey Kirrin Cup during the whole of my lifetime.

It really would send you into a spiral of depression if you let it.
 
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