Take a couple of minutes to watch this suicide prevention video from West Ham.

Would hope anyone going through this, needing help or support or just a chat would message someone on this board they feel comfortable with or have a connection with.

No one is ever alone and never judged

Reach out, I am speaking from experience of friends who I should have asked a little more, spent more time with and had that pint with when they needed it.
 
As someone who’s been suffering from depression and has been that low that was pretty eye opening.

I’m always talking about how men need to talk more about their mental health but don’t always practice what I preach so to speak.

No one should suffer alone and finally opening up to my girlfriend about how I was feeling really helped me go and seek the help I needed.

I’m not quite there yet but I now have a prescription for anti depressants (said I’d never go that route but glad I did) and counselling next week and things have been looking up!
 
Its heartbreaking really- we only see the world that people present to us. No one really knows what goes on behind closed doors.

The best thing we can do as a society is create an environment where people can talk about these things, privately with mates or professionally if needed.

The worst part is the spiral of hopelessness- it's where we need to help people see that there is another way out. Suicide is the biggest killer in men of a certain age and we need to look at how we can tackle this. The more organisations that raise awareness about this silent killer the better. Good on West Ham for taking the initiative with this.
 
11alberz said:
I lost my best mate 10yr ago,im haunted i never gave him more time,i was always working away from home,4hr sometime 8hr drive home,just greeting the Family and big Rab would phone,ffs.
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Same pal, lost my best mate also, it still cuts me up, was out running the other day and Radiohead randomly came on my iPod, it was his favourite band of all time, my thoughts were immediately with him.

RIP, Jason.
 
AllyRFC said:
As someone who’s been suffering from depression and has been that low that was pretty eye opening.

I’m always talking about how men need to talk more about their mental health but don’t always practice what I preach so to speak.

No one should suffer alone and finally opening up to my girlfriend about how I was feeling really helped me go and seek the help I needed.

I’m not quite there yet but I now have a prescription for anti depressants (said I’d never go that route but glad I did) and counselling next week and things have been looking up!
Click to expand...
Good for you mate,what brought it on,you can dm me,no problem.
 
top_cat said:
Same pal, lost my best mate also, it still cuts me up, was out running the other day and Radiohead randomly came on my iPod, it was his favourite band of all time, my thoughts were immediately with him.

RIP, Jason.
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Guilt,self centered,tired, thats my excuse,he just phoned at the wrong time,i wish he would have given me a night at home,then phoned me.
 
HighlandLoyal3036 said:
It's an absolute epidemic and probably being made worse by the demonisation masculinity.

If anyone is going through anything, get involved in the depression thread. It's an amazing place and people are open and helpful. Follow Follow should be very proud of that thread.
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I have never clicked on that thread.
 
11alberz said:
I lost my best mate 10yr ago,im haunted i never gave him more time,i was always working away from home,4hr sometime 8hr drive home,just greeting the Family and big Rab would phone,ffs.
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Not your fault. When someone has made their mind up then all the talking to them in the world won't stop them.
 
11alberz said:
Guilt,self centered,tired, thats my excuse,he just phoned at the wrong time,i wish he would have given me a night at home,then phoned me.
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Not far off from you, I was the last one to see him alive, we were in the pub that night, he looked really troubled, I asked him if he was ok, he told me that he had demons, he told me that he wasn't right, he then proceeded to have a massive argument with his girlfriend, he stormed out the pub, I ran out after him, but he wouldn't listen. I saw him then running up the road, 7 hours later I got the call.

I've made my peace with it.

I miss him dearly.

Sorry all.
 
Being a carer (and husband) to someone that suffers depression and with mental health problems. It can be hard to approach this subject with the person involved. At times they find it hard to open up about the subject. But, if you have the time and patience to spend time and even just listen, It works wonders.

Unfortunately for some it is either to late or they think they are beyond help. And thats before you even think of reaching out to groups who can support.

For mental health side of things, psych and doctors just palm you off with medication, in the hope it helps. Thats even if you are able to get an appointment to see one.

Personally, we have been under psych and local mental health team for almost 30 years, and its only now she is being taken seriously. Countless varieties of medications to try find a combination that works.

After 12 sessions of EST (Electro-shock therapy) , yes they do still use it, even though it's not really allowed, unless umder very strict rules and regulations. It has fúcked up her brain and didnt even help her. But now with a key worker that liaison with psych and actually gives a damn, she is on the mend, but does have her wobbles.

What im trying to say is, DON'T GIVE UP ON THEM. They may not show it, but they do appreciate it. Give them a call, just say hello, knock on their door give them 5-10mins of your time. Its amazing what the smallest things can do to help someone who thinks everyone and everything is against them.

Sorry for long post, guess being a carer, im just letting some steam off, in hope it helps others.
 
top_cat said:
Not far off from you, I was the last one to see him alive, we were in the pub that night, he looked really troubled, I asked him if he was ok, he told me that he had demons, he told me that he wasn't right, he then proceeded to have a massive argument with his girlfriend, he stormed out the pub, I ran out after him, but he wouldn't listen. I saw him then running up the road, 7 hours later I got the call.

I've made my peace with it.

I miss him dearly.

Sorry all.
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TC i still dont have peace,i speak to his Bros reguar,he's the same as me.
 
HighlandLoyal3036 said:
It's an absolute epidemic and probably being made worse by the demonisation masculinity.

If anyone is going through anything, get involved in the depression thread. It's an amazing place and people are open and helpful. Follow Follow should be very proud of that thread.
Click to expand...
Indeed.
As a MHFA myself, it is a superb thread and many folk have reached out and been helped by fellow Bears.
 
AllyRFC said:
As someone who’s been suffering from depression and has been that low that was pretty eye opening.

I’m always talking about how men need to talk more about their mental health but don’t always practice what I preach so to speak.

No one should suffer alone and finally opening up to my girlfriend about how I was feeling really helped me go and seek the help I needed.

I’m not quite there yet but I now have a prescription for anti depressants (said I’d never go that route but glad I did) and counselling next week and things have been looking up!
Click to expand...
Look after yourself mate
 
I'm thrilled folk are highlighting my thread in the lounge. Not for me, couldn't give the first fck about me, ut if it's helped one person fixating then that gives me great pleasure. We are all one in the same, we are bears. It was actually on the old board and I opened up a new one when we came here so I'm fckd if I know how long it's actually been a fixture. I pop in and out of it,not much use to others just now due to how bad things got for my Mrs last year. I also wish this brilliant west ham video could be taken up with every club across this country. I personally feel clubs focus so much on box ticking crap and things like this absolutely crucial things like this get ignored. Why can't we just tackle this once and for all. Gladly for me, turns out I was crap at suicide not just once but twice. 11alberz, get in the thread, somebody will undoubtedly help you in whatever way they can.
 
Tony J said:
Not your fault. When someone has made their mind up then all the talking to them in the world won't stop them.
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Even if thats true, you still shouldn’t stop talking to them, it could be just that one conversation that makes it click that they are loved, needed and lifes worth living.. A do get your point in that yeah for some no matter what there doing it.. We're all social creatures but we also dont like to feel like a burden to people,we dont want to add to others problems.

Ano I'm guilty of not wanting to burden people with busy lifes with my shit, numerous times avr felt like the world was on my shoulders and its took a mate to make me realise that it was something so minute & insignificant and i just needed an outside perspective on things.

A problem shared is a problem halfed or something a think the saying is.
 
AllyRFC said:
As someone who’s been suffering from depression and has been that low that was pretty eye opening.

I’m always talking about how men need to talk more about their mental health but don’t always practice what I preach so to speak.

No one should suffer alone and finally opening up to my girlfriend about how I was feeling really helped me go and seek the help I needed.

I’m not quite there yet but I now have a prescription for anti depressants (said I’d never go that route but glad I did) and counselling next week and things have been looking up!
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Please dont give up mate, it does get better and the anti-depressants do work, same with counselling my dads been doing that for years now and while he has some bad days, he has more good.. Also getting him the dog was the best thing we ever done keeps him busy & healthy plus its his companion when hes alone.. Obviously a don't know how a pet works for you with financial and work commitments but our dogs been a godsend
 
AllyRFC said:
As someone who’s been suffering from depression and has been that low that was pretty eye opening.

I’m always talking about how men need to talk more about their mental health but don’t always practice what I preach so to speak.

No one should suffer alone and finally opening up to my girlfriend about how I was feeling really helped me go and seek the help I needed.

I’m not quite there yet but I now have a prescription for anti depressants (said I’d never go that route but glad I did) and counselling next week and things have been looking up!
Click to expand...
For yourself and anyone else. Never talk down anti depressants as some kind of defeat. You take medicines for cold and flu, painkillers if you hurt your arm, and place a plaster on a cut or graze. Why is the mind aby different just cos you can't see it?
 
I've been down myself these past few years at various times. I seem okay now, but I made a couple of mistakes at work and thought there was no way back from them, and coupled with the way I was feeling I felt like going off the Erskine Bridge on the way home. What would that have done to my family and friends, though...? It wasn't helped by me hearing from a boss that was willing to give me another chance that another boss wanted me sacked. Still, I got through it and it's in the past, but I implore people to check on others to see if they're still hanging in there and try and help.
 
Powerful, the Norwich one was also superb.
The numbers are staggering and there is still little done at a National level to help this crisis. There must be something other nations are doing differently we can follow from
 
Powerful stuff and should be massively applauded but the fact that it comes from West Ham is a bit of a joke.
I work in sports media and some of the bullying that goes on specifically there is insane. Really toxic and nasty stuff. Know plenty of people that work or worked at West Ham and it’s an open secret what the culture is like there. Similar if not worse than the tragic incident to that guy at Chelsea.
 
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