What makes your dad mad watching football?

TN8

Well-Known Member
Sit with my da and I absolutely cringe at some of the stuff he comes out with.

If the opposition manage to string any more than 2 passes together he's going purple with rage screaming at someone to "fuckin hit him there!!!"

Also doesn't understand the concept of when and how to press and keeping shape, he just expects the closest Rangers player to charge full pelt at the guy with the ball for the full 90 minutes. He was going tonto in the 2-0 game v them because we let their centre backs have the ball, even though we smothered them as soon as it went into midfield.
 
Passing it around for the sake of keeping possession.
Full backs who routinely pass the ball out of play when it’s a simple 10 yard pass down the touchline.
Corner kicks that hit the first defender.
Refs that don’t book players for back chat.
Tattoos on footballers.
All of the above would nearly bring on a stroke.

My granda would go tonto at modern day strikers missing a chance and compare them to his hero Joe Bambrick. ‘ not fit to lace joes boots son’ would be his best loved phrase.
 
My old man absolutely hates it when a fullback /wide man can't cross the ball with their weaker foot.
He's especially annoyed when a right footed player is playing left back and keeps cutting inside.
If he sees a player who can "cross with their left", it's the best thing since sliced bread!
He always maintains that left back is the most important position in the team! :)
I actually agree with him about the not being able to use your weaker foot to cross the ball thing. A professional footballer should be able to do that.
It's quite amusing to hear him do the same rant all the time :)
 
The commentators set my old man off. Firstly, because they spout utter shite, and secondly, because they don’t actually commentate on the game.

“Tell me, if you were blind, would you know what the f*ck was going on in this game?! Fur fuxsake. Gwarrrghhhgggggaaaaggggh!”

He’s got a point.
 

Blue 9

Well-Known Member
Had the old boy round for Gers st Joe's the other night, joyous as ever.

It's like he's stuck in a football timewarp from the 60s and 70s.

His biggest gripe (and i mean genuinely losing the plot about), is the ball not being in the quadrant for a corner, he has no concept of whole of the ball whole of the line, so actually gets out his seat and shouts at the TV, it's spectacular to witness.

You should have seen his face when I tried to explain why the linesmen now late flag as well......

So, anger management issues of my own old man aside, what makes your own da mad watching football?
Smart arse young pups who talk about false number 9's , centre mid's and that high f@ckin block shite.
Mon the Da's
 
my dad whose 85 is actually quite good when it comes to watching the bears all positive but then after watching petershill in the late 30s to watching the bears from the 40s ( torry gillick and jim baxter being his favourites but also loved mark hately ) he's seen it all so nothing fazes him :))my hero as he brought me up the right way. probably the thing that gets him angry is I get so caught up in a game I tend to swear and my dad never swears lol
 

Joe 90

Well-Known Member
Official Ticketer
I visit my old man a day or 2 after every rangers game and he waiting for me,
That useless lady's front bottom this
That useless lady's front bottom that

Tavenier hasn’t got a clue
What the fcuk is that Cnut Morelos playing at?
Who the fcuk signed that clown ?
What the fcuk does mcallister do ffs
How many fcuking catholic’s are at ibrox noo
I will tell ya, to fucking many

What’s that boy doing ffs
Manager my arse

About time somebody kicked that Cnut broon right in the baws
Morelos did dad
Aye but no hard enough
 

Supermac1872

Well-Known Member
Official Ticketer
My dad used to irrationally get angry players spitting. He found it absolutely disgusting and unnecessary. In particular always didn’t like when Alex Rae spat.

If watching the TV he’d be furious any time 1966 was mentioned also.
 

Stephen

Well-Known Member
My Dad hates the man who beats the drum throughout the game - sorry if he's a poster on here. Three times a game he'll say "Does that not drive you mad?"

He was also one of the first to speak out about horseplay and over exuberance when celebrating a goal 'Someone will get injured the way they carry on' he will invariably say.
 
Last edited:
Great thread OP.
When winning a game,with 20mins to go,his phrase of choice is 'keep it low'....veins are bulging and various expletives are used whenever its launched long...my fav memory of this is the league cup final in the 90s(gough in extra time) 5 of us watched it in house with him,snd they all thought hd was a quiet so n so ....ha ha...it changed that day
 

Mrs_Prso

Well-Known Member
Official Ticketer
Opposition players not getting booked for clear offences. “That’s an automatic yelly!!” he roars. If I had a pound for everytime he said that.

Ally McCoist commentating on the rare occasions we watch on the telly.
 
I remember watching a champions league game with my old man. Barcelona playing someone, can't remember who. But Messi was have a poor game by his lofty standards, right on que my mum pipes up 'that Messi is rubbish' the look my dad gave her :eek:. I was pishing myself laughing :D
 

Topps

Well-Known Member
My dad has mellowed a bit when it comes to watching Rangers now. Growing up he would go daft watching it particularly against the taigs and if the game wasn’t on the telly I would be shouted at for checking teletext or putting the radio on too early which of course would be the cause if we hadn’t won.
I must admit though I’m now 10 times worse than my dad and will openly admit being a nightmare to watch a game with, I turn into a man possessed.
 
Every single time he hears comms say eg "hit that with his favourite left foot"

Cue shouting at tv "Its his only fu(king left foot you fu(king idiot!!"

And, very understandably, he goes apoplectic with rage if the lurgan bigot appears on his tv set, genuinely shaking with rage and ranting "I fu(king hate that fenian (unt! hate him, HATE him! until he finds tv remote and controls the rage shakes enough to switch channel over. Always makes me laugh, love the auld yin :))
 
Had the old boy round for Gers st Joe's the other night, joyous as ever.

It's like he's stuck in a football timewarp from the 60s and 70s.

His biggest gripe (and i mean genuinely losing the plot about), is the ball not being in the quadrant for a corner, he has no concept of whole of the ball whole of the line, so actually gets out his seat and shouts at the TV, it's spectacular to witness.

You should have seen his face when I tried to explain why the linesmen now late flag as well......

So, anger management issues of my own old man aside, what makes your own da mad watching football?
Yer da's right ya wee pwick - that's the laws of the game !!!!!
 
My mum walking in front of the telly
:D Or my Mum talking and him turning round to listen - and invariably missing an important piece of actiion.

He also disliked commentators using phrases such as "saved by the post" - "what, did the post move to save the ball?"

It'll be 4 years in August since he passed. It doesn't get easier...

On a lighter note, a lot of this thread made me think of this scene:

 
My dad’s dead a long time but what he always said;

They are the Huns and deserved to get wet at Hampden

Community singing started at Ibrox. A pissing wet night where the entire crowd got under the cover on the North Terrace and sung “Follow Follow” It was so unique the radio commentators turned their microphones around.

Jimmy Johnston was a luxury player who never scored an important goal in his puff. Could lace a Willie Henderson’s boots

No player was as good as Baxter. Only Jimmy Millar or Davie Cooper came close.

Davie Wilson could get a penalty from halfway.

Celtic Park is held up by hydraulic jacks when there are no fans in it.

Two of these have been proven correct by FF. I’d love for the community singing one to be true.
 
Three pet hates
1 wingers not utilising what he sees as the best move in football. Get to the by-line and cut the ball back. Every time any team scores using this he will say - Football’s an easy game you know...
2 full-backs that don’t prevent the cross coming into the box
3 Goalies not commanding their 6 yard box and claiming every high ball that comes in from a cross or a corner.

He’s my absolute hero though and I have countless amazing memories of enjoying fantastic Rangers wins with him. I absolutely dread the day he’s not here but I’m so glad I’ll have all those memories to look back on.
He's right on all three counts!
 
Not beating the first man at a corner.

People referring to the "rules" of the game when they're "laws"

"Tippy tappy nonsense"

Players "acting like three year olds running to daddy when they score a goal" when they go to give their manager a cuddle after scoring.

Has no interest in what commentators say so if you're watching the game in his house, it's often on mute and you miss out on players names in games you're not familiar with the teams.

Players who "are professionals and can shoot that badly" - he cannot fathom how someone on six figures a week could balloon a shot over the bar on occasion and not at least hit the target 100% of the time.
 
My dad hates players “going doon like they’ve been shot” which I think we can all agree with.

However he now thinks that every time anyone falls over it’s a dive. I’ve given up arguing with him about how it doesn’t take much to knock you over when running at full tilt.

Unless someone gets clattered in a full on leg breaker, he’s not having it. “Stay on your feet you big fuckin softie”

Love the auld boy
 

mkgers

Well-Known Member
My dad hates players “going doon like they’ve been shot” which I think we can all agree with.

However he now thinks that every time anyone falls over it’s a dive. I’ve given up arguing with him about how it doesn’t take much to knock you over when running at full tilt.

Unless someone gets clattered in a full on leg breaker, he’s not having it. “Stay on your feet you big fuckin softie”

Love the auld boy
Mines the same. Also when watching slow mo replays of collisions he won't accept the players could be hurt. Seems to forget that hitting things whilst sprinting can be painful at times.
 
Not my dad but my uncle. Seen us trounce teams, grind out some all important results and play some excellent football but yet “we were shite” is the general consensus from him and his old mates.
My old man doesn’t watch football with him (his best mate) because he moans like fcuk the full game. Until the war tunes come on after the game, “we were first class” and all is well again.
 
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