FrazzGers
Well-Known Member
Not sure if this is the right forum to post this in and feel free to move it Admin, however it's just a post to pay tribute to my Dad, Jim (47Blue), who passed away last Thursday at the age of 64.
He was a lifelong bluenose like my Grandad and one of the greatest gifts he gave to me was passing down the love of Rangers, taking me to the games with my Grandad starting in the 90s. The routine was to get up, watch Football Italia, drive to my Gran's for a fry up, and stop by the City Centre where I'd be sent into the pub to fetch my Grandpa before we went to Ibrox. Together we went through the numerous highs and lows of supporting the famous, and quite often disagreed on a lot of things when it came to Rangers, most recently his "Sakala would never be out my team" stance. How he shone for the man from Zambia. He was also a frequent poster on here and also just as frequently joined the banned list given his, shall we say, unbending nature. After all, his namesake was the famous Presbyterian Minister, aka "the short man who would not bow".
I was lucky enough to take him to Seville last year, along with my best mate, after striking it lucky in the UEFA ballot. Although the result didn't go our way, he couldn't stop talking to my auntie, uncle and I about how much he loved the trip, whether it be the trains, planes and automobiles journey, the stay in Cordoba or the game itself. That trip will forever live with me to my dying day, until I join him and we can look back upon it together.
Diagnosed with a brain tumour last year, he underwent a brain operation in October which led to a minor stroke in February. Since then he struggled badly with his mental health and tried to take his own life 2 weeks ago. He was taken up to hospital and discharged, however last week, at the second attempt took his own life, which has utterly devastated everyone around him including family, friends and neighbours.
While this post is mainly a tribute to the auld boy, I also want to reiterate what so many people on this board say, particularly in the Depression Help Thread in The Lounge. If you're feeling like you genuinely cannot go on, please talk to someone and tell them how you genuinely feel.
With regards to the support he got from the NHS, during his stay in the hospital it was first class, however after being discharged I can't even begin to describe how badly he was let down. The support for mental health in this country is a disgrace and if you are in a similar situation like we were, waiting on the NHS providing support, please don't be relying on it coming in time.
For the people that have to deal with a loved one who has depression or is suicidal, give them everything you have, whether it be attention, hugs, someone to cry to, whatever. As I said previously, although you may be assured by the NHS that they will give all the help that is needed, please don't assume this is the case and ensure you're giving it your utmost attention until the right support is in place.
When my Dad was struggling, I just didn't understand what he was going through and often got frustrated with the situation, assuming that the professionals would be dealing with it. I stayed with him for a few nights in the lead up to Thursday and unfortunately I left on the Wednesday morning as I had to be in the office and I can't remember my last words to him or if I hugged him before I left.
The guilt that I feel just now will never leave me, and if I can even pass this message to one person I hope it makes a difference and they won't have to deal with this. Mental health is no joke, depression is as bad as a heart attack, cancer etc. in that it is life threatening, and if a loved one is going through it, please be understanding and give them all the support you can. I know it can be difficult with finding time with work or other matters that are going on, and I was in the same boat, but work can wait and you can get another job, but I can never replace my Dad.
To my Dad, a good bluenose, but above all an outstanding father, brother and uncle, and the best of the best, you'll be missed.
He was a lifelong bluenose like my Grandad and one of the greatest gifts he gave to me was passing down the love of Rangers, taking me to the games with my Grandad starting in the 90s. The routine was to get up, watch Football Italia, drive to my Gran's for a fry up, and stop by the City Centre where I'd be sent into the pub to fetch my Grandpa before we went to Ibrox. Together we went through the numerous highs and lows of supporting the famous, and quite often disagreed on a lot of things when it came to Rangers, most recently his "Sakala would never be out my team" stance. How he shone for the man from Zambia. He was also a frequent poster on here and also just as frequently joined the banned list given his, shall we say, unbending nature. After all, his namesake was the famous Presbyterian Minister, aka "the short man who would not bow".
I was lucky enough to take him to Seville last year, along with my best mate, after striking it lucky in the UEFA ballot. Although the result didn't go our way, he couldn't stop talking to my auntie, uncle and I about how much he loved the trip, whether it be the trains, planes and automobiles journey, the stay in Cordoba or the game itself. That trip will forever live with me to my dying day, until I join him and we can look back upon it together.
Diagnosed with a brain tumour last year, he underwent a brain operation in October which led to a minor stroke in February. Since then he struggled badly with his mental health and tried to take his own life 2 weeks ago. He was taken up to hospital and discharged, however last week, at the second attempt took his own life, which has utterly devastated everyone around him including family, friends and neighbours.
While this post is mainly a tribute to the auld boy, I also want to reiterate what so many people on this board say, particularly in the Depression Help Thread in The Lounge. If you're feeling like you genuinely cannot go on, please talk to someone and tell them how you genuinely feel.
With regards to the support he got from the NHS, during his stay in the hospital it was first class, however after being discharged I can't even begin to describe how badly he was let down. The support for mental health in this country is a disgrace and if you are in a similar situation like we were, waiting on the NHS providing support, please don't be relying on it coming in time.
For the people that have to deal with a loved one who has depression or is suicidal, give them everything you have, whether it be attention, hugs, someone to cry to, whatever. As I said previously, although you may be assured by the NHS that they will give all the help that is needed, please don't assume this is the case and ensure you're giving it your utmost attention until the right support is in place.
When my Dad was struggling, I just didn't understand what he was going through and often got frustrated with the situation, assuming that the professionals would be dealing with it. I stayed with him for a few nights in the lead up to Thursday and unfortunately I left on the Wednesday morning as I had to be in the office and I can't remember my last words to him or if I hugged him before I left.
The guilt that I feel just now will never leave me, and if I can even pass this message to one person I hope it makes a difference and they won't have to deal with this. Mental health is no joke, depression is as bad as a heart attack, cancer etc. in that it is life threatening, and if a loved one is going through it, please be understanding and give them all the support you can. I know it can be difficult with finding time with work or other matters that are going on, and I was in the same boat, but work can wait and you can get another job, but I can never replace my Dad.
To my Dad, a good bluenose, but above all an outstanding father, brother and uncle, and the best of the best, you'll be missed.
I've spoken to 47Blue on here down the years.
