WHAT on earth were they thinking?
If they didn’t see this car crash coming from the moment they put a qualified driving instructor at the wheel, then someone somewhere wasn’t doing their job.
And it turns out it must be catching too because, even though Giovanni van Bronckhorst is only just in the door, he too went missing in action yesterday – isolating himself away in an executive box when he was needed right there, down in the trenches.
It’s little wonder David McCallum’s hair was turning white as he attempted to perform duties way above his B team pay grade.
That the poor guy unravelled as the second half ran away from him – resorting to playing substitute bingo – merely added to the sense of farce. But, to borrow a phrase which used to belong to the previous man in charge, this one was not on him.
No, this was an accident which had been waiting to happen from the moment Steven Gerrard strapped himself into the driver’s seat and bolted down the M6 in a cloud of dust.
This was not just a catastrophic error of judgement for van Bronckhorst who made himself look weak by choosing to watch on from the main stand, it was a shirking of responsibilities on an industrial scale.
Not so in the green corner, where Ryan Porteous and Paul Hanlon were throwing their bodies on the line every time a ball came anywhere near their own penalty box, and Martin Boyle and Kevin Nisbet were busy running themselves to a standstill up top.
But, as magnificent as this Hibs performance was, Rangers turned in a display which was inexplicably feeble in almost every conceivable manner. From the top down.
From being photographed having dinner with club chiefs on Saturday night, to sitting next to sporting director Ross Wilson as another piece of silverware disappeared into the distance, the optics could hardly have been any more damaging for the new boss.
Sure, Rangers may have congratulated themselves for acting swiftly to bring in a new manager but the truth is they dithered needlessly for days when van Bronckhorst was a clear and obvious choice.
Had they moved more quickly then the Dutchman would have had no basis on which to declare himself a mere bystander when a trophy was on the line.
In retrospect, even though his arrival was later than it ought to have been, van Bronkhorst will concede he should have been spending every minute of his first few days back in town examining why Gerrard’s team had made such a bad habit of conceding sloppy goals and doing something to correct it.
That Hibs were 1-0 up after just eight minutes when Boyle bagged the first of a rapid hat-trick, was evidence that due diligence had not been done.
If the entire coms strategy was all dreamed up by his club’s own notoriously wonky PR machine then at least van Bronckhorst knows where to start as he attempts to make some sense out of what has just gone on and recover from the single most inauspicious start to a new job since his own debut as a Rangers player 23 years ago.
On that day, van Bronckhorst grabbed the bull by the horns, after being part of a side which was trailing Irish minnows Shelbourne by three goals in a UEFA Cup qualifier at Prenton Park. Dick Advocaat’s star-sprinkled side came back to win that one 5-3 with a storming second-half comeback.
Yesterday, however, van Bronckhorst opted out of having any kind of influence even though, by half time, it was already apparent his new team was staring disaster square in the eye – with McCallum left to pick up the pieces.
It could have been worse. It could have been Graeme Murty. But when McCallum decided to take decisive action he succeeded only in weakening his own attacking options to such an extent that the outstanding double act of Porteous and Hanlon could hardly believe their own luck.
It must be said, this was a curious affair before the first ball had even been kicked.
Van Bronckhorst did make the trip to be there in person, just as Record Sport told you he would last week, and yet, for some reason, the new man chose not to assume full control despite having a work permit rubber-stamped over the weekend.
So McCallum was left to front this one up and the stand-in boss admitted beforehand that he had also been given responsibility for selecting the starting 11. Not much of the above seemed to make sense, even if McCallum’s team had a familiar feel to it.
In fact, he made a total of five changes to Steven Gerrard’s last line-up for a 4-2 win over Ross County but it was a return to the tried and tested with stalwarts Borna Barisic, Steve Davis, Glen Kamara and Alfredo Morelos all back in the fold.
There were a couple of curve balls too with the inclusion of Scott Arfield and the absence entirely of Kemar Roofe, who wasn’t even among the subs. Now that was a glaring omission but it was the fact that all of this decision making was being done by the hired help was the real baffler.
It did all feel like an unnecessary roll of the dice as far as van Bronckhorst was concerned, leaving a novice in the dugout rather than hurrying himself into his own hotseat.
Had Gio told him to step aside at the half-time interval then he would have shown courage and the qualities of a genuine leader. He would also have spared McCallum from the humiliation of making all the wrong changes at all the wrong times.
Replacing Ryan Kent with Fashion Sakala was bad enough. But to swap Joe Aribo for Ryan Jack – before toying with the notion of throwing on a fourth central midfielder in John Lundstram?
No, this was toe curling stuff which wreaked of panic and despair.
The accident prone Homer Simpson once talked his way out of almost sinking a nuclear submarine by coining the phrase, “It’s my first day.”
Well this was van Bronckhorst’s own “D’oh!” moment.
He won’t get too many more even if he is new.
Written by Jackson for those interested.
Are you a child? It wisny a car, it was a train..na, na,na,na....
