Article More Jul 2020 snips - Prayers for Griffiths & Our 1st step on road to 55 vs. Lyon

[SM™]

The Twelfth of July


The man who broke Eamonn Bannon's Youth Baldness Record turns up a little worse for wear due to a summer of parties and munchie-boxes. Lenny steps in... and tells him he's to... (don't laugh) stay with the wasters who left him like that.


Aye? How did that go?


Who wants a Tony Vidmar to back up Artur Numan? WE DO!

 

[SM™]

13/7/20


I'll take your word for it, John. No doubt you've researched umpteen Certificate Not in My House videos. They might be out of date. Edouard's on light duties as he wants outta there.

 

[SM™]

14/7/20


Oh, God, they write this stuff for me!


Ah! It's just lockdown, see? There he is in his Eamonn Bannon Scotland under-21 days.

 

[SM™]

15/7


Jesus Christ! That turd is so polished it'd be on a QVC item named Solid Fauxld.

Change the record, for Christ's sake! Oh...


Seriously, Pieter? He's THAT good? Well, blow me down. Ain't just a Shaggy out of Scooby Doo haircut you've got. There's something beneath it. Well done, Pete.

 

[SM™]

16/7


I get it, the Herald/National/Times share the same sports team, but do they have to share it with the Celtic View? Every day, draw or defeat, always the same...
"Look at this, do not question club now skint and led by a loon."


I know someone you could ask. He should be in the hoose. Or Ladbrokes. Or up his mate's hoose.


Meanwhile, across the city, nothing. Most days.

"All out of second chances?"
Lennon's options?
Take your last stages Kris Boyd with added self-destruct button
or
Don't use him and can't find a taker or afford pay-off

 

[SM™]

17/7

And we're off!

Feels like a long time ago, doesn't it?

 

[SM™]

18/7


Sod the plague, have you seen our bank balance?



Notice posted to timothy who drew 1-1 in France. As good as it got for them in 20/21.

And the near-daily reminder to the eternal waster - all on him - there's no fall-back option.

And so important to the Gerald sports team it's 3 pages!


[EDIT: YOU TRY FIXING TITLE WITH KIDS 5/3 CLIMBING OVER YOU]

 

[SM™]

19/7


What we learned...
Rangers cuffed them with 10 men the other day
Youze didnae




And a wee trophy to get us in the mood for the 55



And when David Bates arrives at Cercle I'm sure he'll get a full page too. (It was so low-profile Jim Hannah didn't know he was there in February)



You tell 'em, Graeme, it's a shoe-in.



And a drunk man with a bright ginger coupon says, "I'll have a bottle of lighter fuel, and whatever Peter Lawwell's having, even if it kills every Sunday Post-reading over 50 in the land!"


And to finish the Sunday

Hardly heard your name all season, Jamie, but you'll never forget that​

 

[sg9375]

Remember the liewell lobbying for return of the fans campaign well? Somehow managed to NOT fix the random fixture computer to making the first game the 11th fixture! How did that work out you fat Japanese eyed pig. Get it right up you.

 

[SM™]

Remember the liewell lobbying for return of the fans campaign well? Somehow managed to NOT fix the random fixture computer to making the first game the 11th fixture! How did that work out you fat Japanese eyed pig. Get it right up you.

Note how all the fixtures were scheduled right through to the end of the Europa groups in a most-difficult-possibly manner, hoping to get the tims an early march on us and wipe out our morale.

Us: Belgium then Tannadice
Them: France then Aberdeen at home for the traditional roll-over

 

[mdingwall]

Bumped

 

[Aranoid Pandroid]

The cvnts flag wiping and scarf tying make him a legend in timmy eyes. He is a prick of the highest order. And also a convicted bigot and racist. Fvck LG. Loser

 

[SM™]

20/7




Bears rejecting to BLM antics were in agreement with the Daily Telegraph...
...hacks reported it with full on Horst Wessel Loyal Ibrox Klan yahoo-ery

Phil Three Names would've been proud, and journalists using his tactics should realise how low they've gone. They'll never admit it.

But let's not forget the Herald's coverage of Mark Walters' debut. In its entirety. We know which side of the scales your thumb is on...

Full-on bananarama & skull-measurements day at the piggery - Not a mention on the Monday.


Elsewhere, Jermain enjoying a final season to remember.


And a first glimmer of how serious we were and are.

 

[Teddy bear]

Cam someone help me out here.
When I try to view the images I get an error page.
Saying I don't have permission to view this page or perform this action??

 

[SM™]

Cam someone help me out here.
When I try to view the images I get an error page.
Saying I don't have permission to view this page or perform this action??

Don't know reason but solution I'd suggest (for now) is copy and paste to a picture program. Paint Dot Net is the basic one I use, but GIMP is more powerful. (Both free)

I snipped them at the very minimum readable given it's full chunks from old papers.

 

[SM™]

21/7
3x pages of "The Eternal Blue"
A Goebbels-style trashing of every Bear in the land

22/7
2x pages of "The Eternal Blue"
A Goebbels-style trashing of every Bear in the land

See the next time any of this crap flares up? 327 genders? School books with a wee boy and drag queen parents? You may be Telegraph or Hitchens good on the subject, but keep it away from Rangers.

You know what the scum vermin will do, and you know the board will roll over to have their bellies tickled, regardless of the multiple levels of nuance in the whole BLM/UK scenario.

How about Blue Lives Matter, NUJ scum? We are capable of reaching different conclusions. We're not one ball of uneducated bigotry.


More pics to come...

 

[GordyMac]

Note how all the fixtures were scheduled right through to the end of the Europa groups in a most-difficult-possibly manner, hoping to get the tims an early march on us and wipe out our morale.

Us: Belgium then Tannadice
Them: France then Aberdeen at home for the traditional roll-over

Turns out they are as shit as trying to fix a season as they are at trying to get their hands of some sort of government, just wait til they dump the snp and try to re-establish some sort of relationship back with Labour when Labour starts to pick up again. Glad I go nowhere near any of them!

 

[SM™]

23/7

A pre-season friendly 4-0 win over Motherwell? Don't recall ANYTHING!


And dad tips son to be good. At least my dad wrote me off before I sat my high school exams. Just goes to show how wise he is. I'm a Grade A waste of space. (A cunning nod to him, and if he's passing the chippy it's a sausage supper and a tub of gravy.)

 

[SM™]

24/7

A rare Daily Record in the dung-pile.


Cheers, Keith. Load the ammo for the SFA to fire, and Proxy Mick wanting hunz heidz. What a surprise there, eh, folks?


Barry Ferguson writes? You're kidding me! His brother has an IQ so low that the Army wouldn't conscript him. Barry's barely one wrong-way-round-a-roudabout-into-oncoming-traffic smarter.



Mamrot talks rot.


In the 3-syllable Record fancy paper...


Dear Tims, Get ready for paedophile Irishmen in the team.



And Graeme McGarry asks Stevie G to, "Calm down, eh, eh, soft lad?"
Result? One tim-scudding delivered - before the split!

 

[nelster]

Great stuff. Thoroughly enjoying. Can now scroll back up to continue

 

[SM™]

Great stuff. Thoroughly enjoying. Can now scroll back up to continue

If you think collecting daily papers is mental, you want to see my collection of videos.

From Kim Dynasty documentary series made by South Korean state TV...

...to Love Thy Neighbour...

...to films about abortion in communist Romania.

 

[kenikinif]

Jeezo that pic with Billy Stark just reminded me how big his ears are
He will hear aliens long before nasa

 

[SM™]

Jeezo that pic with Billy Stark just reminded me how big his ears are
He will hear aliens long before nasa

The irony of big Billy, Bear born and bred, being key in their centenary double. Bigger than McStay in my opinion, and that was McStay's ONE year of being near to what Barry Ferguson did for a decade.

Remember we were signing the likes of Trevor Francis, long past his best, and Billy still had 1 or 2 years good football left. You get the feeling Walter would've gone for Billy, but not a big enough name for Souness.

Oh, well, live with the shame of it, Billy. Was it worth ruining your name for the silver? If my wee carrot somehow developed genetically-confounding footballing ability I'd sooner take him to Torquay than the Pigger-ee.

 

[Danny Wilde]

Superb! Hindsight is a wonderful thing, I know but it is amazing how quick you forget what the general consensus was about our chances before the league campaign started.

 

[SM™]

25/7


Looking at Balogun's age there and I'm really surprised. Seriously thought he was 24/25-ish.



For me, the big Swede is better - but only just & not pound for pound.




JJ back in football - head coach at a team that sounds like one of those outsourcing call centres.
(Where they don't give a heart attack victim sick money, he comes back to avoid being evicted, then he drops dead on the call floor, and his boss wheels a curtain round and screams, "GO READY! ANSWER YOUR PHONES!" at his friends and colleagues who sit inches from a corpse. Happy to name the company if hacks browsing.)
Sadly for JJ, it ends in relegation. Still, I bet Jean was missing the Port. I know I do.
I doubt any of us knew TPS's state when he got there and whether he done the damage.



Paisley full of diseased individuals. Shock, horror. We just don't notice as Greenock's placed handily to make it look better.


But, let's leave the best to last...

He's as complete as that Apocalypse building, ya nutjobs!
Surely "Green, White & Golden Dawn" a better headline for joining FC Anti-Semitism of Glasgow?

 

[SM™]

26/7


Praise be! For he has risen! The saviour with his Elton John hair-transplant-a is back, and a smelly saviour is re-born, like a Chips & Cheese & Curry Sauce & Salt & Vennegoor-never-got-on-the-Sealink.

And...

Man who doesn't clear shelf of Cum Guzzler Tarts XXVII & Nympho Jugfest Four-Way Bum-Gub Action MXXXVII DVDs for interview blasts Griffiths for, I can hardly keep a straight face, lack of preparation!

Why do they keep asking the man behind Super Caley etc. for expert opinion? It's like getting Stevie Wonder to talk you through the Louvre!



...is a jump the dyke cart-horse piece of keech



Curtain-raiser, you say? Get Barnes back in. He'll talk you through some right good curtain-openers, I'll tells ya!



Them not signing John McGinn.
Second only to Lennon as a "Door wide open" statement to us?
Agreed?
Motion carried.



Much too soon.



Kyle Lafferty announces this year's Winter hibernation will be in warmer climes, but his alarm is set for 28th February and he hopes Rangers can chuck 2 points against a couple of diddy mobs so he doesn't have to get up early.

"I've never seen a tin of de-icer," said the Bear who takes Bear to its furthest extremes...



Thingmybob kept his promise and called Brendan anyway.
Brendan said, "Who are you anyway? And how did you get my number?"



Scott Sinclair says, "I haven't seen them in ages, but he can't have wrecked them yet."
Barkas says, "I hate being a keeper and want to play as a defender." - Oh, well, that's a 1-8-1 sorted for the season. Set up a B-game and see if any of the defenders can catch a ball!
Only Barkas would rob Barker of the "Barking" nickname.



Damn right, Mick, and he's playing Bazooka Joe League U20 football for £Mental a week, so gerrit right up you and every other one of yeez! You're stuck with Barking Barkas. Cue big fat Roussous. "Together, forever, and ever, and ever, your nuuuummmber one!"


(Day not done yet, and there's more... as that unfunny character used to say on TV)

 

[SM™]

Let's check those stats!

In the green corner, looking likely to withstand radiation, it's PADDY KLIMALA!


And in the blue corner, it's RYAN "Thank Christ for His Burd" KENT, Prince of Glasgow


Seems a knock-out, but let's ask Hugh Keevins to score them.
"Klimala, embarrassing, useless, ruined my life, I'm 103, never see this again, that hun Rae is grinning, and so would Dalziel if he knew what year it was. I'm disgusted, flabbergasted, and call for the whole team to be Zykloned by Young Brave John Kennedy, who has been let down, disgraced, shat on, sneer, snivel, all their fault, I hate my team, no, not my team, I'm a Bankie!"

And what about Kent, Hugh?
"A dirty..."



Tony Fitzpatrick announces he is pleased that Celtic have allowed the stadium to be decked out in Celtic gear again for the Ten.



Tommy Wright takes time out from watering the plants...



Well, he must be like Superman, Iceman, Spiderman, Batman and Robin, and Supergran all-in-one after that season!



Aye, it was worth sticking by wee Alfie, but his head wasn't in it at the start. As ever, some too keen to wire into him.



Board: "No, seriously, Stevie, you should see it over there! Ian Black couldn't de-rail you!"



Thoughts on Kenny Dalglish? Mine? Good player. Awful human being. Thought of him at Ibrox turns my stomach.






And in the week that Johnnie Beattie passed, after 138 years of talentless shite, I bring you the ultimate cringe. The sort of thing Andy Cameron would play on Radio Scotland, thinking it wasn't shit.

 

[DougieJones]

Great thread, many thanks. Hopefully all the pre-season predictions to look forward to next!

 

[Agent P]

Brilliant thread. What a great read.

Well done.