Let's check those stats!
In the green corner, looking likely to withstand radiation, it's PADDY KLIMALA!
And in the blue corner, it's RYAN "Thank Christ for His Burd" KENT, Prince of Glasgow
Seems a knock-out, but let's ask Hugh Keevins to score them.
"Klimala, embarrassing, useless, ruined my life, I'm 103, never see this again, that hun Rae is grinning, and so would Dalziel if he knew what year it was. I'm disgusted, flabbergasted, and call for the whole team to be Zykloned by Young Brave John Kennedy, who has been let down, disgraced, shat on, sneer, snivel, all their fault, I hate my team, no, not my team, I'm a Bankie!"
And what about Kent, Hugh?
"A dirty..."
Tony Fitzpatrick announces he is pleased that Celtic have allowed the stadium to be decked out in Celtic gear again for the Ten.
Tommy Wright takes time out from watering the plants...
Well, he must be like Superman, Iceman, Spiderman, Batman and Robin, and Supergran all-in-one after that season!
Aye, it was worth sticking by wee Alfie, but his head wasn't in it at the start. As ever, some too keen to wire into him.
Board: "No, seriously, Stevie, you should see it over there! Ian Black couldn't de-rail you!"
Thoughts on Kenny Dalglish? Mine? Good player. Awful human being. Thought of him at Ibrox turns my stomach.
And in the week that Johnnie Beattie passed, after 138 years of talentless shite, I bring you the ultimate cringe. The sort of thing Andy Cameron would play on Radio Scotland, thinking it wasn't shit.