Cringy Football Patter

Don't like to bring them up, but just walked past a sticker where sellick fans have refered to themselves as 'Celtic Glasgow'. You're not Italian, nobody has ever put Glasgow after Celtic and, frankly, it's a crass attempt to look foreign.
 
Justifications for dirty play: "it's a man's game", "it's a contact sport", etc. See also criticisms of artificial surfaces that eulogise "the slide tackle on a muddy pitch".
 
The old fanzine correspondent The Dowanhill Hack used to file lower division match reports for the late Saturday editions and the Sunday papers. He claimed - I was never able to verify this - that he deliberately used the same opening sentence for East Stirling match reports: "lowly 'Shire were first to shine at windswept Firs Park" and nobody ever noticed.

The paucity of writing about football is widespread. Commentary/punditry is even worse. And at the bottom of the pile is the cliché-ridden semi-literate bilge on football discussion forums. Present company excepted, of course. ;)
 
academical said:
Justifications for dirty play: "it's a man's game", "it's a contact sport", etc. See also criticisms of artificial surfaces that eulogise "the slide tackle on a muddy pitch".
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"Not that type of player" after catching their opponent around the thigh area...
 
" he needs an arm around the shoulders", "they're playing the kids", "he's got the extra half yard", thick ex players misusing them and those, ie "them players need to step up, them final games are crucial" etc.

They use the same tired old lines like nobody has heard them before, which is annoying to me as I avoid cliches likethe plague.
 
Any Rangers song that references the 2 following things:

  1. Lisbon lions.
  2. Scum 10 in a row.


Yes. There is one. Rangers supporters actually sing it. They celebrate that evil mhobs greatest ever victory and their current dominance of Scottish football.

Why? Fúck knows.

I'm utterly convinced a Tim wrote it and they swallowed the hook.

THE most moronic song that we have ever sung. Fucking detest it.
 
George Goudie said:
Any Rangers song that references the 2 following things:

  1. Lisbon lions.
  2. Scum 10 in a row.


Yes. There is one. Rangers supporters actually sing it. They celebrate that evil mhobs greatest ever victory and their current dominance of Scottish football.

Why? Fúck knows.

I'm utterly convinced a Tim wrote it and they swallowed the hook.

THE most moronic song that we have ever sung. Fucking detest it.
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I hate the fact that we mention them by name in any song, Follow Follow included.
 
Jaws II said:
Any bastard who says fitba, wtf??:mad:

It’s fucking football and if said in a Glaswegian accent it is more footbaw.

Can’t stand cu.nts like Cowan and Cosgrove who use this shit patter.:mad::mad::mad:
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Shit patter???

It's what every Glaswegian iv know since the sixties calls it. Maybe you'd be better not coming to Glasgow.
 
The utter shite that gets spoken when it comes to tactics never ceases to amaze me.

False nine. What is it then? An upside down number 6? If he has a 9 on his jersey then unless there's a problem with registration, he's a genuine 9 rather than a false 9.

Playing in the hole. Where is this mythical hole where there are no other players but your "in the hole" forward? If you've got a player who is so far removed from the play that he's in a hole on his own then the work-shy tool isnt contributing to the game.

Pen. A pen is an instrument used for writing or a cordoned off area used to keep animals. We have penalties in football.
 
Virgil Hilts said:
I hate the fact that we mention them by name in any song, Follow Follow included.
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Agreed.

1. Never mention the Pope.

2. Never mention Jobby Sands.

3. Never sing that Tiffany song.

4. Stop singing that Lisbon lions 10 in a row song - it's a catastrophicly bad song celebrating the mhankies tainted titles and their biggest one. Why?

Sing them all loud and proud on the buses and Sash Bash's. But we adhere to all the above 4 things and Ibrox will be perfect for me.
 
George Goudie said:
4. Stop singing that Lisbon lions 10 in a row song - it's a catastrophicly bad song celebrating the mhankies tainted titles and their biggest one. Why?
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I'm willing to be shot down, but is it not a counter to their song about the Lisbon Lions seeing 10-in-a-row? In which case it makes sense.

If it isn't, then I'm with you.
 
Every time a player is linked 'I have a large collection of butt-plugs'. Shite patter!

And Scottish crowds (100% of the time its other teams) doing that thing when a keeper is going to take a bye kick 'ooooooooohhhhhhh' - like them making that noise is going to put him off. I've actually heard some eejits shouting 'Skite!' after it too, and they weren't wee boys either. Fannies.
 
I don't like the corridor of uncertainty. It's a pretty good way to describe it, but it just seems a bit out of place with the rest of the language used around football.
 
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